The feeling you get when you are in love with someone but you know no matter what both of you wouldn't get together. This makes me fucking sick. But outside, I'm still all cool and chillin. Because I know it's just a matter of time until this shit goes away. Lets talk atheism. It greatly relaxes my mind as always.

8/6/12

Probably the most terrible pain known to men. Toothache. So another baby tooth is on its way out of my upper gum. To make it more dramatic...tomorrow would gonna be our first paper of the UPS. Even more dramatic, I just figured out in what zone I've been the whole progress. The fucking friendzone. Been expecting too much from a newly met Sarawak girl, very pretty and flirty. But this kind of shit doesn't contribute much to my brain usage. Just have this feelings...why being responsive to flirt from someone you've friendzoned? Naughty girl. Sigh...got loads of shit in my priority. I might even have to go through some more headaches before I get to decide which home to go for the holidays. For sure, each decision would dissapoint the opposing party. Damn...

I've made decision. The hardest part wasn't choosing whether to go or not, but to say why I choose not to go. The thing is I've rejected an offer no man can refuse. Especially when my very best friend was the one who offered it. I didn't change, I grew up. I choose to rather stay here tonight, doing revision and assignments, ignoring the promise I've made last week. We've been best friends for many years so I know how he felt when I said I rather study tonight for the upcoming UPS. If the time is not now, then when should I start getting serious for my future? Sigh...call me a noob, a nerd. I'm not avoiding you, I'd really hang out with you more if I could. But I'm no longer a boy. This is the last year for a chance of having my future brighter. The only year left. A lifeless year. Just need a decent job under government because the bussines isn't promising. So my best friend ever, do enjoy your night, I'll still be around when you need me. You see, people always know how to rock, but they always forget about the roll.

God cannot be all-knowing

The following contents are of my own arrangement, feel free to reproduce or distribute it in any way. 

BL Peter.

In this specific case where God is speculated to exist and is all-knowing, lets all magnify that there's completely nothing beyond His knowledge, taking future into account.

In a logic sense, if future is known then there would be a fixed sequence of actions laid ahead. A simple example might says, God has the one answer, whether or not will one go to hell. If there's known future, then he is definitely going to obey it. As I am well aware of how this notion may sound to theists who firmly assured that one creates his own future, lets get into the details.

Neglect how and why, consider a situation where god could answer our question whether yes or no. In reality that wouldn't happen, but the point is as you have already agreed, God knows everything so he must have the absolute answer that EXCLUDES uncertainty. So when we ask if a random baby will grow up a murderer, God CAN NOT say "It depends to the baby". Why not? Because with that answer, God shows uncertainty. Is He insecure? God must have known the exact future. If He knows exactly then there's no uncertainty but a fixed future. Therefore it should be only 'yes' or 'no'. Consider the known future to be yes, then the baby must grow up to be a murderer. How could he appose the known future? The baby couldn't. This concludes that if there is an all-knowing deity, the idea of free will would be totally absurd. As simple as that.

The next point is that God cannot have any emotion. Now if we go through the major religions of the world, God(s) has/have always been pictured to be able to get mad, happy, unsatisfied, and many more humanlike emotions. The pure logic I'm trying to apply is, one cannot have emotion changes given that if he already knew about all the upcoming events that are yet to happen. Emotion changes only when new information come into our knowledge. If there's nothing left unknown, you cannot be 'surprised' to result in emotion changes. In case the notion is still unclear, lets procced to the analogies.

Pretend that you are about to open a present box, if you already knew the content of the box then it wouldn't be a surprise to see whats inside. You cannot be surprised anymore. As if you are lending a huge amount of money to a friend, but you know exactly that the friend would only run away with it, then you couldn't feel angry anymore when it finally happens. If you should, you would have felt it as early as you knew about it. Or instead, you'll only blame yourself for letting it to happen. Help yourself, know what emotion is, how does it change, then figure how emotion changes wouldn't occur to an all-knowing being. If you resist to agree, the option left is to assume that logic doesn't apply to God, you don't question God with logic, and that only means you are having faith based on fear, arrogance, or stupidity, most importantly without sincerity and honesty for not using your logic reasonings.

Do you really understand the notion you've wrapped all round your head? Something that is all-knowing? Perhaps this would turn out to be a little more harsh in your very own perspectives but lets welcome critical thinking right here. God cannot think. God cannot consider therefore he can't think. How about that?
Firstly, it is a fact that in order to think, we need to consider various factors consciously or not. Only then we get to reach the conclusion as the result of the considerations, which in a different note, influenced by our upbringing. So to think, you need to start without knowing the result of your consideration. That means, if everything is known then there's nothing left to consider. We also think when we want to predict. In relation to our centralized topic, thinking and being all-knowing are not coherent. That is a simple math. You think because you need a conclusion, you need it because you don't have it; you think because you need to add in your knowledge. You think because you don't know!

The reasoning used was based solely on logic arguments. If your apposing reason is that God cannot be compared to human, I didn't compare. I simply judged his humanlike characters you've claimed Him to have in the first place with logic alone. Thus the last straw is obvious, the tittle does really speak volumes. Check mate.

Society? A penny for you thoughts

Given that life can be pretty boring here especially at weekends, I have the need of internet connection to check out news and as my reading source. I read on Emma's hubs on hubpages, the thinkatheist website and blogs are interesting as well. But when it comes to facebook, one thing is I get to learn that sometime it really takes courage to point out the obvious. It takes courage to comment on the posts on my newsfeed "bitch, thats hilarious. you are just plain stupid. were you born in a highway? because most accidents happened there"
I would feel a bit under the weather everytime I scroll down my newsfeed. "Two men are friends, not spouse." Obviously, this is like getting mad at people who eat sandwiches in front of you because you're on your diet. Do not fucking apply your OWN religion's rules on other people. Maybe for having mental capacity of a vegetable makes the notion sounds impossible. Common sense is indeed a rare species...sigh. Even for openly declaring my support on same sex mariage concludes that I'm gay? Wow, so does supporting animals' rights makes you an animal? Dear rotten eggs, this is human right. If you hate green shirt, just don't fucking wear green. As simple as that..just to get things off my chest..just to show myself anger is small when its written down~

Couldn't do more with a phone..just the silly rainbow effect. If I can use photoshop now her teeth wouldn't be so hahahhaha

*tongue out* okay, 1...2...3!!*smiles*

Friends keep me going wherever I'm heading~ 

hakuna madafaka

Just like my other accounts, for using it as a link to my phising site this one will be taken down at anytime. Would be a surprise to check the emails in my gmail accounts for the passwords. Starred the working ones a long time ago, should ask Evando again to separate them! ~~If there is one religious and spiritual reason for me to believe that there is God and he is actively involved in my life businesses, it would be that he gave me lots of Chivas and Vodka to worship tonight. I mean today~drank a few glasses already I hope no drunk texts and stuff. God, it's not too much to ask isn't it?
I can feel burning sensation inside my stpmach, should have eaten something..nv, drink slow and enjoy it. Days were suck, should take some pleasurable time this holiday forgetting those problems. Finish what I should tomorrow, drive to papar then get back to mkl..can't imagine my next nights there, a glass of vodka before studying? sounds legit...who wants to stop me..
The html script isn't working anyway, I hope no report for this blog..pity me pls

What the hell..I don't even want to remember how I was 2 years ago..but, most of the time I didn't iron my uniform to class=,=  I even prefer to sleep on my table all time during class, and that happened only if I go to class=,= My marks were terrible, I didn't do my hair,  I didn't do homeworks, I slept while my friends went for light sports, the wardens hated me damn what a shame@@ uhm so what now.. I really want my pointer to be as high as possible that even my brother envies me, and beat her as well;p Dunno if relationship matters, but feeling does~ But now that it gets simple, it wont distract me. Let it stays that way;)) But no guarantee on dota@@ there's gonna be dota tours there..and lots of noobs to be pawned!!..then rising clan there with Aksbir and the gang..sigh~ But my mom once said there's no people can do his best without having relax mind and thoughts and she said its okay to play games lol. Yet, the worst thing ever is Diablo 3. WTH. No, there's also Dota 2, holding themselves back from taking my soul~@@
Can't wait to start there, KML better to brace yourself. I'm coming

The best among all my favorite songs~ No matter how terrible I feel, this can always calm me down.. So tomorrow I'll have 10hours work non-stop. Too tired already, went here and there to get the matrix stuffs done@@ Still can't sleep? Great! Sleep tomorrow on the counter~

The thirst of curiousity was always satisfied your way

Belief is half the battle. Everything we do is based on certain degree of belief. In a diff note, as once said by Marcus Aurelius, what we hear is opinion, and what we see is perspective. Throughout the centuries we've seen people with unshakable faith pierced through limits. A monk could survive a month without food and water, incredible adrenalin fueled folk lifted a truck to save her granddaughter and the list goes on. The only true realm is of what one can conceive. The limit of knowledge walls us to uncover the exact mechanism of the human brain. So convincing statements, unexplainable phenomenons, constant brainwashing, which are to be a set of belief for example, always work like a charm. When it comes to an argument on religious belief, the reasons that rise against each party wouldn't lead any to accept them and allow them to reform their ideas, but instead it would be bent in such a way that there are ways to think how their ideas are flawless. When a set of such belief grows older, the fallacies remain in a growing number. But human behavior still applies. Thats when I think how dumb it can be to convince them otherwise. Until I can no longer hold myself back to repeat the past, to summon my demonic accounts on thinkatheist, hubpages ect into harsh existence, hard on tolerance itself! Couldn't tolerate with Omar Luther though, couldn't tolerate more, couldn't say nevermore. Done with dumb people~ Lets welcome a little challenge here.

part 1

part 2

bye blog..

KML you better be ready for me!

I'm gonna get my driving license in Labuan..sigh.. Then the first week's gonna be orientation. 4 days to go then everything is for my pointer== wtf.. If I mess up, then probably getting a diploma is also hard..and sure that's gonna take time. So it's like drag racing, accelerate straight to the end..1 year until starting on a degree, and 3.5^ pointer for a good course, so what idiot gonna waste that? I'll finish what I start as the best I can do, at least that applies right this moment so, bring it on!~

Two people to never be ; the guy who considers only the reward, and the guy who only considers the risk.
brotip#1908

==

This is something rather scary. For I've been busy all day I've slept earlier around 10 pm. But then again I had the same nightmare and woke up on 3 am sharp, made myself some coffee and here I am now typing in my notes app.
I had this nightmare the day before..where my friends were in serious trouble and some died, but seemed that I actually could help them. I really hate dreaming about death, dead people dying people..So then again I woke up feeling guilty, I even tried to call them just now but none answered, it's 3 am.
The 1st night, I dreamed about Ad and me in a grassy field. He sat on the edge of some kind of hill as I continue to walk up, I met this guy asking for Dexter. I didn't say I saw him, because the guy seemed dangerous. I continued walking up as he passed by me going down. Then I heard screams down below, rushed to an edge where I can see them, then I saw the guy holding a huge chopping knife behind Dexter. I felt there was a moment I could actually run down to stop him but I didn't. Instead, I turned around, knowing what would happen next. By the time I turned back to see them, Dexter's back were already full of blood, of course it felt horrible and strange, I were scared too, then I quickly continued my walk for then I woke up!
Then just now, this dream I had was even more scarrier.
At first, I saw Kenny sleeping on the thick layer of snow, then I talked to Raja. They place were cold and snowy..I don't really remember what happened, but I followed Elvon during the night fall. We've walked beside a dark road until we approached his bike, rode on it and had an accident after I accidentally stepped on something behind the bike while we're speeding. He fell down badly but I don't remember seeing blood. I helped to clean him as he was covered up by mud.
He was okay, then I walked to a wooden house to change, because I was dirty too. Then my step father and mom came with my brother Willson, and my mom were busy complaining about him.. This brought my mind back to the atmosphere where my family was chaotic. Not feeling comfortable, I went back to the snowy area still feeling guilty with Elvon but then I found out Kenny was dead..they said he died in his sleep. I woke up feeling even MORE scarier, I checked my phone and saw an unread message since 11pm from him that reads "pls reply,important..haha"
Creepy as hell== this really scarred me!~ If you die tonight please don't haunt me for not replying! Joke, he's gonna marry a princes and grow his son as a pro dota player!

These nightmare remind me of a dead neighbour..many night before he died, I keep dreaming about his house full of dirty mud..back then my grandmother was still alive so I've asked her what the hell with dreaming about mud for many nights already. She said the dirty mud flood away people to death..then we heard about the neighbour's death that evening. I won't ever forget this.
Wow~ I realized I haven't had a lucid dream for quite a long time. Am I losing my angelic property?! T.T

Nevermind! Yesterday was fun! I went to MRSM to take my sijil berhenti skolah. I met some old friends and teachers ;) I even went to the dorm hell I miss that place..At Jabatan pentadbiran they even asked me to draw some cats== No idea why~ but a staff then forced me to take her 5 ringgit for the drawing. Weird event I say!@@

My uncle's gonna be late so I drove Mirza'a car to Kinarut, lol he was just like my mum. He screamed during corners== Here's a picture of a Hummer I took on the way to Putatan~

Nuff said...

Better watch your languange ;P

xD

My super power abilities

Just so I don't fall asleep, or else I wouldn't be able to wake up on time, 7 am to sit for the counter..
This is just like writing a drunk text.
I hope this wouldn't happen in Labuan, you know, forced to be awake@@ Though I'm such a superhero with this strange ability ; staying awake for days! I can do it but that doesn't mean I like it!~ It feels like working on your laptop with the power saving mode turned on, the screen is freaking dim! Then when I have the chance to finally sleep after like 2 days of not sleeping at all, I'll feel like having to get some sleeping pills. You get the point.
I also have this super power memory ability. I've always thought that my memory was bad~ it turned out to be completely wrong when I realized I can remember things very specifically! But ironic enough those things aren't those you'll need during any exam.
I also have this not-so-useful power, long lasting interest!~ Except my interest in my ex of course. I can still remember how broken I was when she left me..nevermind~~ So this is quite a bad automatic ability when it comes to having a crush. Avoid having a crush if you don't brave enough to tell her! You'll waste time thinking how you are such a pussy. Except if you can interact with her even just through texts...and she always gives replies! ;) But that also makes you considering that she might not do that again when you actually speak out. sigh~
So what else...I have ninjas surrounding me all time. This would be great if they actually do something other than misplacing my things and stealing my money if I go out to the town.
Finally, 1 thing that is actually nice..I get lucid dreaming almost every night! I didn't find this exciting until I saw this post from 9gag about how to get a lucid dream. Not that I've learned to have it that time, but people  looked so jealous in the comments, so I thought I am one of those lucky enough persons who can have it naturally. Anyway, lucid dream is when you get conscious while having a dream and succeed in not waking up! Now you like it? It's not really fun I say, when you're lucid dreaming you don't really have your senses like you have in reality. Like when you dream of flying, you just see things beneath you and you move like wind and..you don't really feel excited. But it still good! ;)

"Don't Worry" it whispered..

"Don't worry, you are among the top humans on earth that have ever lived. You have internet access, family and friends. You could even get more food than you could swallow. You are not blind, you've watched rainbows and sunsets. You don't have any life threatening disease. You don't even use a stick to wipe your poop off like the ancient Japanese did. Your bed is comfortable, unlike those who slept on the ground or cold cement floor. Not to forget that you are not gay. You also know to differentiate (bieber is gay).

You should have been more grateful along the way. So knowing how comfortable you have lived, what will you do next? Your dad may not be able to feed you anymore. You got to get your own shelter. You got to pay everything damnit! ~Don't worry, again you say. Early birds get the worms? But the second mouse gets the cheese! You don't have to rush or else you'll miss the scenes.
Unless you couldn't walk to get a job, you may be sleeping on the street the next decade. Unless you're freakin blind, you may commit suicide. You see, your brother is a lecturer. If you could ask people that pass by your house everyday, most of them may make 10 times more money per month. How much does your brother make a month to be exact? But look at how he lives now, don't you want to be him? You are jealous of him. Look at your father, how many years he spent on education actually? lol look at how much he makes a month! Like they say, you can call luck to come at you, and you couldn't agree more on that.

To be precise on what the actual hell you're saying, you'd get to be better than most people with the least amount of effort. The only problem is you got to do it all correct. So within you vision, taking current challenges into consideration, if you want to drive car that shines and sleep on marshmallow, the least you can do is get graduated and start breeding money. You are among the worst laziest students but you passed SPM better than many students that finished their homework, praised by the teachers and those who even offered you to study. Laziness is obviously bad and you know it, you always know it!
That indicates that you have a 'working me' and you know how to get around things well, even its not the best you can do. You are among the lucky person on earth damnit imagine the lives of those children in Africa.
No matter how much rules you broke in school, you didn't feel bad, congrats! Because you know when to feel bad! You feel bad when you hurt people, like when you've failed to manage your anger~ seriously, learn how to do it. So far you are doing so good, a round of applauds. So if you do better in future, you'd probably use 50 note to wipe your nose. You can do more. Even you tend to do things with the least amount of effort, you can actually do more bastard. Because histories said you've failed things because you didn't try harder. Don't worry." said my brain today after it realized  nobody could motivate me more than itself.

Very amazing work, well done to her! How could she grew up holding back her awesomeness from everyone? What a humble girl@@ I feel bad for keeping her promise not to tell anyone about her arts. Respect~

Redefine love and freedom! ;)

What is the actual hell happening to my phone $%^&* I've called random contacts again T.T sad case..
I've also realized that I got 2 cigarettes left! Expecting a real struggle to survive til the morning..How nice if I managed to quit permanently last year!
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ No mood for dota and that explains...always have wondered wtf did the cavemen do during times like this..no electricity no technology only hairy women, dark caves and probably some dead smelly rats~
I better go to the 7e...

The legendary yaphets

He's not only pro using sf

Pause the music and check this out

Whenever that dumb girl call me again I'm gonna pick up the call and put the phone on speaker with this song!! This one dumb girl with mental capacity of a vegetable really have haunted me since the previous month. I've never knew who she really was nor have I seen her in person =,= This is probably the song they play non-stop in hell

What kind of sorcery is this?!

Now I remember myself in a serious battle againts the Saiyans, when Vegetta screamed 'IT'S OVER 9000!!' as they approached me.... To make it short, they were then forced to seek Pandaren's help to knock me unconscious, which is the most they could do. Then the last thing I heard was 'I BRING PANDA MONIUM!!' Then, a moment after being respawned I got puzzled, realizing part of my memory is gone permanently after the match with the STRONGEST GODDAMN BREWER. I've tried hard to remember the password to my previous blog, but its worthless! This is the only logic explanation for the memory failure.

My next years

So in my previous chats and posts on the net with random people, without including my age they actually thought that I was 20 or something and I'm not sure whether or not to be proud. But thing is I'm only an 18 yearold without any clue of what's going on in my life.

So my next year, apparently I'll spend it in Labuan. Dunno how it should be going, neither do I know where to go after that. Maybe my brother was right on something about me, I should plan for my future pleasure. But somehow I think I couldn't be happier than going to anywhere the flow took me! For sure at some points life may demands me to pick any of those choices laid in front. May also insist some hard works to be done YARR~ true pirate also sails against the wind!

So maybe I'll spend a year of hard work for my pointer, and rock the shit out of you!life! FUS RO DAH!!

Pretty sure it'll be fun there, having so many friends going along ;)) Well, maybe this is my first planing on my life. But after the matrix stuff I'll finish my degree right away then maybe I'll catch any opportunity on sight! Doesn't sound like a plan maybe but this is how I'm going to live my life. You got to play very well in life, the option with the noobs are, whether to THIS IS SPARTAN them or learn from their mistakes to be like the pro. You can't KAMEHAMEHA them so to live happy also with the least amount of effort, get along well with everyone.
You know, when I fancy something its really hard for me to let it go. So then when I fancy pleasurable life, driving a Celica Liftback with the speakers smashing out Hotel California, going down the street for a a cup of coffee then   singing along the way back home, I'll certainly sacrifice a few couples of years for study and work. In short, even if I look like someone with no direction, I'll do anything to reach the things I like so at the end I could say 'It worth it' :)

I would say this in a deep voice and lower my head a bit looking down to the ground, drop my cigar and step on them, that so far I've got through all the miseries back in the days when my family was chaotic and stuff ;P
I've pwned 'em! Unlike the other spoiled kids I think I've invoked the elements so well that I could hardly use my entire mana to get through things! After all my life isn't all fun and enjoying, at this point I can really feel how Invoker feels in a battle.

Also I don't think that by having a relation would gain me a level. Having a crush is like facing an enemy with red life bar but you either have no mana or the cooldown is having control. Like I used to have a crush on someone last year, I feel pretty stupid right now. Even anytime when I feel the feelings flood me back like Morphling's wave. Wait when everything is on the right place then I'll tell her my feelings, it's not only something a real pirate should do but it also sounds challenging ;P Pirates love challenge!
SO PIRATE! TIME TO RAISE THE SAIL YARR!!!~